Saturday, August 14, 2004
8:49 PM
alrite!!im back again!!hmm..wad have i been doing..stoning?time passes so sssslllloooowwwllllyyyy...cant stand it..but pass slowly also gd..seems to have more time for revision..but dunno y when i revise time seems to pass so fast..then revise 1 chapt seems to take such a long time tat i dunno how to finish revising thru maybe 100+ chapts in total..gosh..wish mi gd luck?;)..hahaz..ehz..someone arnd mi considering whether their relationship shld continue or not..maybe itz better for her..then u know..as i was listening to her views n his views..somehow..it came to mi mind..their story is very alike to mine..realli..he kept asking her out..for fear tat they nv spend enough time together..n mite break..tats mi thinking tat time also..but i think i didnt take tat as hard as he does la..but still..i kinda understand how HE felt tat time le..ehz..got 2 he..the one 'he' is mi fren's ahem..the HE is him..maybe u know..tats wad he felt tat time..tats y our story ended..i now knew how he felt..but maybe..he was more selfless than selfish ba..according to wad HIS fren said n wad i believed..HE did it more like for mi..but..i was wrong..wad i did tat time was wrong n i didnt know tat..until these few days maybe..but..was it too late?i think studying is the best tat i cld do for miself..n maybe as a tribute to HIM..HE wun wan mi to be distracted from studies..tats sorta mi motivation for studies..yeah..hows HIS life?mi life..sharks..u know sometimes when im laughing n all tat stuff..im wondering if tat the true mi u know..im recovering very very slowly..realli slow..still..every nite i dreamt of him..n every nite..i still cry..itz not tat i wan to cry..is like..as i lie on mi bed..close mi eyes..felt wetness on the corner of mi eyes..n then open mi eyes..the pillow is wet le..until i pei fu miself..tat i can realli cry so much..so..if u ask mi if mi life was better..i wld say no.. n i made a promise to miself..every now n then i promised miself..i think no one knows except for mi diary n pearly ba..if i still like HIM at the end of the yr..maybe i will tell HIM..provided tat HE dun like anyone tat time..itz not tat i wan to get anything..but im afraid i'll regret if i dun do so..after exams..i think mi going to taiwan for hols this yr..im very afraid tat each time i go abroad i wun come back..u know..HE hates mi saying this..n we actualli quarrel over it last yr..tats the first time we quarrel n maybe itz the last time until now..??but..itz the truth..so..yeah..tats the promise i made to miself..
